Who you love
You love, who you love
Who you love
My girl, she ain't the one that I saw coming
And sometimes I don't know which way to go
And I tried to run before
But I'm not running anymore
Cause I've fought against it hard enough to know
That you love, who you love
Who you love
You love, who you love
Who you love
You love, who you love
Who you love
Oh, you can't make yourself stop dreaming
Who you're dreaming of
If it's who you love
Then it's who you love
-"Who You Love", Paradise Valley
One of my all time favorite movies is "The Last Kiss". Zach Braff plays a guy who just turned 30 and is about to settle down with his pregnant girlfriend (played by the lovely Jacinda Barrett). At their friends' wedding, he meets a girl (played by little cutie pie Rachel Bilson) and ends up sleeping with her. Spoiler alert: even though his girlfriend is pissed off about what he did, she gives him a second chance. But he slept with the other girl out of fear of settling down because there won't be any surprises in his life.
I'm madly in love with my girl, but when we "broke up" for a day in an attempt to placate her husband (it didn't), I tried to convince myself and her, but especially myself, that I didn't want this relationship as badly as I did, that part of me still wants to be a bachelor. And it's not completely false; I still enjoy being flirty with the ladies, especially at my new job, where I meet beautiful women from all over the world, and some of my co-workers are lookers.
But on Friday when we spoke on the phone, I realized right then and there how much I really loved this girl, and maybe she could be the one I settle down with. It's not the situation I pictured myself in; I thought I'd end up with someone single, maybe a little younger (don't hurt me! LOL), and with less baggage. But in a way this is actually much better than I could have imagined. She's so wonderful, and it's so effortless being around her; it's kind of scary how easy it is. There will probably be conflict, as in every relationship, but I can't imagine those being very long-lasting or frequent; we're so in sync like that.
It's the honeymoon phase, and I wonder at times if things will ever get stale. But neither of us are really thrill-seekers, and as much as we like to do exciting things once in a while, I think we're just as content curling up on the couch watching TV or playing with our dogs or cats. It's like the poem that says,"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." She's honest, intelligent, strong, compassionate; she's everything I've ever wanted in a woman, and I can't imagine anyone better to come home to the rest of my life.
I'm tearing up as I type this! I'm such a softy.
Even though I see plenty of bumps (and some huge ones) in the road ahead, I'm willing to navigate them because I know once she and I get through these next few months to a year of dealing various issues surrounding our relationship, we'll be able to declare to the world our love for each other, and that's what I want as much as anything else in life. And I can finally change my Facebook status! LOL
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